Shut it Sean Penn: They aren't Las Malvinas, they are the Falklands.

"Sean Penn is living, breathing proof that just because you are famous doesn't doesn't mean you know what you are talking about. He is a fool." - Simon Weston

Sean Penn's attack on colonialist Britain is about as funny as watching Team America. It is basically a load of hot air that gives people a chance to laugh down again at an American who is talking about something that he knows nothing about. They seem to be good at that across the pond. Like this fools view is worthwhile. Oh yes, he shagged Madonna and she was Evita so he knows his stuff. Jimmy Nail should have knocked the prick out. He claims that we should hand back the Falklands to Argentina. I would love him to explain why. But then he has no idea does he. This Sean Penn prat must have something against Britain as he openly championed the IRA and their terror campaign against the UK. But then again so did a lot of American people before they had the horrible scenes of September 11th, 2001 to deal with. Shit when it happens on your own door step isn't it. Wankers.

This idiot asks for the islands to be handed back to Argentina. How about giving your Malibu estate back to the native American Indians? The man should learn his history. Argentina has no claim on the islands at all apart from geography. And if geography's a claim, why are Hawaii and Alaska part of the US? Hawaii is as American as France is English but they claimed that island as they wanted a giant naval base there. Does Penn complain about that? No he doesn't. Time these 'celebrity' toss pots kept their fucking mouths shut. He reads from a script and gets filmed for tv and films. Who the fuck does he and the rest of the no mark bastards think they are preaching to us! Shut it.

As Simon Weston points out today in the papers, "By opening his mouth on this, Sean Penn proves he is a fool." I would rather listen to men like weston who liberated the islands after the Argentinian forces invaded illegally 30 years ago. They soon got told were to go along with the Belgrano. They might have nice steaks and red wine but they can fuck off if they think they are having 'The Falklands' back. The islands have been British since 1833. Sean Penn has been a dickhead for slightly longer. The people on the island wish to stay part of Britain so shut up. They aren't Las Malvinas, they are The Falklands.

Until next time, Iddon

Valentines Day: The Greed and Misery.

"The Day Of False Affection" - Martin Warren

A few of you who read this will know that i am no romantic. Romance for me is still with The FA Cup and hoping that those bastards do something when wearing the Three Lions. And also not kicking a bird out of the house as soon as daylight appears through the curtains. Nothing wrong with that as a bloke needs a clean bed with fresh sheets after a night of untold filth. They get home earlier so whats the problem? Valentines day though brings along thoughts of romance and other shite. Who else is sick of all this gooey crap and insipid cards and cupid rubbish. Like christmas i have a similar hatred for yet another greed filled day of misery. Why say it with flowers or cards when you could say it every day of the year. It wouldn't cost a fucking penny. It's not about love but yet more of peoples hard earned cash. What's valentines day really about? Money. Money in the pocket of greeting card, flower, and chocolate companies

Let's get down to it shall we. Valentines day is yet more shit. You know it, i know it. To all you pillocks who happen to be in "love" with some "great person" who just "thrills" you, i just want to say fuck off, emphasis on the "OFF." I don't care how happy and in "love" you are. I don't care how you're walking on air every time your significant other's voice comes over the phone. I like not having a significant other, loneliness is most certainly not an issue as i have a great mates, the pub, a passport, a massive tv and SkyHD. You have all been duped by the greed. I'm  not in a relationship i certainly don't want to be reminded that i'm not. So all you people out there that are hopelessly in the throes of "love" and "happines" please do me a favour this year and fucking knock it off. The rest of us don't want to hear it or see it. Go be happy and content and stare dreamily into each others' eyes murmuring sweet nothings somewhere fucking else or you risk being vomited or at least told to fuck away.

From what i can recall of this shite it the past, i have given out 3 cards in 30 years. Now even that is far too much. One was at Junior School that i made in the 80's, Another was given to some bird i met after a night out in town and one was sent to some Kiwi bird that i met whilst pissed up in Berlin around 10 years back. Think all 3 are married these days. Romantic bollocks. I feel sorry for the mates sometimes. I'm actually lucky really as every mate of mine has a decent bird so i don't have to act like i get on with them when they are around. But then what if one of the lads missed this day of toss. They would get it in the neck for fucking weeks. And for what. Failing to buy a bunch of flowers or some tacky little card that says i love you. Get a grip women. They've grafted since they met you, paid towards a wedding and kids, sacrificed going to the football and regular meetings with the lads so they can live with you. You should be grateful for the wedding and what not and forget about all this shite.

Until Next Time, Iddon

England: Falling Into The Trap Over and Over Again.

"There is a forgotten, nay almost forbidden word, which means more to me than any other. That word is England" - Sir Winston Churchill

The flag of St.George. The simple red and white flag that stands for passion, dignity, humour, tolerance, stoicism, creativity, courage and more. Give it 6 months and we will see them flying from houses and cars up and down the country. Or will we? Since those 'Glorious' tournaments in the 90's we have had far too many summers that have basically been a massive fuck up. France 98, Euro 2000, Japan/Korea 2002, Euro 2004, Germany 2006 and South Africa 2010 all ended up the same. England beaten. Do the players care? Do they actual give a flying fuck about the fans that travel all over the world watching them and those who miss work so they can venture down to wembley for a piss poor friendly performance against Ghana and the like? I'm sure there are certain players that do care, but then as seen in the last world cup we have players who do not seem to care as much as us. This isn't some pissed up rallying cry for the friendly games against Spain and Sweden as that is what they are. Friendlies. Lets be honest here. Our last real chance of glory was Euro 1996 and Italia 90 and since then they have been shite. "Bollocks to that lot" was the sentence from me back on the warm June day in 2010. I travelled to Australia on the morning after and had a stop over in Singapore. Whilst sitting down for a beer i had the unfortunate pleasure of watching the Germany game again. Watching it sober was even worse. I really didn't know that we played as bad. For some reason it made me even more 'English' with the attitude of fuck them all. You may call me mental or a 'Little Englander', but i see no reason why our best 11 players could not beat that side. There it is. That is me just realising that i have fell into the trap all over again. With another qualification campaign done with we are now again coming towards what i like to call a proper season. A tournament awaits at the end of the League season. Here i am again looking forward to the Euro 2012 draw on the 2nd December and then the start of the tournament on the 8th June 2012. And for what? Another 2 weeks of watching Carlsberg and Kasabian build it all up for us again so we think we will play the rest of the European nations of the park? I fucking hope so. I say to a mate of mine that football is a simple game. "Play, Pass and score." If only it was that simple eh Fabio? Just pick the best 11 players, do the business on the pitch, hope for a shitload of luck and give us England fans something to enjoy. I know i'm one of the minority now that still gives a shit about International football (Bollocks as yet again we will have the most supporters over in Poland/Ukraine) but every single Englishman must still feel his heart skip faster when seeing those 3 lions. I know it still gets me. I'll be over there in the summer watching them even after saying never again in 2010. Even my old man says i'm crackers. But that is what being a fan of those wankers is all about isn't it. You can't stop watching them willing them to win even after all the let downs. It's what being an Englishman is all about. I wouldn't change a fucking thing. Roll on the European Championships.

http://youtu.be/co7xGVs2GLg

The Cult/Curse Of Celebrity.

"Jesus Christ. Never have i seen a bigger bunch of cunts in one place" - Alan Holt

Now i'm going to start this latest post with a story from a few years back. It was around the time when the country would be glued to the screen for a few months in summer time watching the latest bunch of feckless people in the Big Brother house. It started one friday night in the pub. Myself and a mate of mine called Alan Holt had been having a few well earned pints after another week of hard graft. We started talking about the utter wankers that had been on Big Brother in the past. Surely they couldn't be the so called 'Real People' that they said would be entering the house. The chat continued with "What would it be like if you entered that house with these 'People'? As the day after would be the audition for that summers Big Brother in Manchester i decided to go over and have a crack at getting in the house. Alan decided to come over and see what was going to happen. On arriving at Manchester Victoria station we crossed the road and walked over to the building that was going to have the auditions. We were greeted with what can only be described as a bunch of wannabe wankers. Already we could tell that these people were not the type of people that we would not get on with. Standing at the back of line after a night on the beer was not how we wanted to spend our saturday morning. I think Alan lasted about 10 minutes before saying "Fuck this mate, i'm going to get some breakfast." This left me alone with the rest of the morons. Trying not to make eye contact with with those around was hard work. It then hit me that i was surrounded by people that i would never have anything to do with in real life as in all honesty it isn't is it. "What are you going into the Big Brother house for" was one of the questions asked by some pillock who had travelled down from Scotland. My reply was "I fancy a summer off work and the £100000 prize money." On hearing this he looked as if i told him that i want to kill him. Well i did really as he kept whooping along with the other cretins. What he then said puzzled me. "I'm going to go into the Big Brother house and show the world my singing and the real me." Why? Who wants to see the real side to a complete stranger? What does that actually mean when people say "I want to show people the real me?" It's like people who travel and say "I'm off to find myself." Dickheads. Anyway, Alan returned and i ended up getting nearer and nearer to the audition process. It got to the point when we were both stood in the main hall watching what was going on. Groups had to be formed and you had to tell someome two different things about yourself for that person to tell the Big Brother People. Alan had to leave at this poiunt as on being asked "Are you here to auditon?" he said "Am i fuck" so he went outside for a cig. I can't remember the girls name who i was with but i know she had blonde hair and was from Bristol. She told me that she was once caught giving a blow job to some lad by her dad and some other crap that i can't recall. It was now my turn. "So what are the two things that you are going to tell me?" "Well i once got locked in a McDonalds toilet and shit my pants and i have been banned from watching football for the past 2 years." She looked at me like i was a mental. Not far off really. This was then announced to the group by this bird when the Big Brother people asked for the tales to be told. At this point the big brother types debated for about a minute and then told us to stand in a line. "If your name is called out step forward." I was thinking "Train home and pub." My name was called out. "What the fuck" was my next thought as no one else's name was called out. "This can't be right" i thought as i was ushered down a long corridor for my interview with more Big Brother types. At this point Alan was still outside. I recall him saying "I was stood outside mate and spotted your group coming down the stairs but you wasn't with them." He asked the girl who was next to us in the line and she told him "That your mate has been put through." From what i remember him saying after hearing this, his words were "What a fucking dickhead." I ended up speaking to some tv types in a darkened room with a tv camera stuck in my face answering questions about chocolate knickers being classed as proper food and other bollocks like that. I didn't get through in the end as my "I'm only entering for the money and time off work" quote didn't go down well with the interviewer. They really are after the dickheads that we see on our screens. Probably a blessing that i didn't continue on my Big Brother journey. They aren't real people and spending 3 months in house with those fools would be unbearable. Yes the time off of work and the prize money would be great but give me real life people over those pillocks all the time. Big Brother, Big Bollocks.

"The Gruesome Katie Price heaps shame on us all." - Jim Shelley

Now i'm going to start on the type of 'Celebrity' that these cretins look up to and are inspired by. Katie Price otherwise known as Jordan. "Signed by Katie Price!" will be the cry, followed by "What were people thinking!?" This new offering from 'Pricey' follows her searching to sign some foolish berk "to her new management" firm, whilst being oblivious to the fact that none of the morons have an ounce of talent. Hearing her condemn some poor witless bint with the sentence "You look far too cheap" is fucking hilarious coming from a woman constructed from boob jobs and plastic surgery in layers of fake tan. How this woman keeps appearing on tv is becoming more of a joke that is now actually quite sad. It's like that Kerry Katona figure of fun that keeps appearing. It is like a freak show that just won't go away. You don't want to keep reading and watching what these pillocks are doing but you can't get enough of seeing them fail. Signed by Katie Price may be one of the worst tv shows ever made for the vacuous, vain and deluded. The fact we live in a society that celebrates them should make us all feel ashamed.

"Quality, of course, has never been the point of the X-Factor." - Ally Ross

The x-factor for me is what is wrong with music these days. A global phenomenon that is slowly but surely spreading out across the world. Cowell is like a modern day Hitler but with crap singers attacking our hearing instead of Nazi stormtroopers destroying eastern european villages. Love him or hate him, the man knows how to make a few quid with at best average singers. Look at those two irish prats jedward. He's made a fucking fortune! Bastard. Now i have to admit that i have watched a few of the new series so far. Forget the music. Kelly Rowland is a right sort. She is also the blackest woman in the world with her deep south ways. "Put it down!" I only wish she was shouting "Put them Down!" to half of the so called singers on the stage. The quality of the singing has never been the point of the x-factor though has it. If you are like me then you will only watch the crap to find a figure that can become the focus for your hatred. Same with both of the topics above. I watch them so i can sit and basically shout 'Cunt' at the tv. If the contestants could sing then i would gladly sit through it without abusing them and give a valid opinion on their singing ability. The bastards can't though. What gets me is when the national papers report that "Nearly 2million have switched off" like it's important news. Here is an idea. Maybe they have had enough of shite tv and music and decided to watch the history channel and actually fucking learn something instead of being fed this bollocks every year. One thing is for certain though. This manufactured bollocks will never replace real music. You only have to go to music festivals to see that the guitar is still king. Cowell and his cronies can do whatever he wants, but the music that we love will never be replaced by his shite. Instead of looking for "The next big international recording artist", try looking for an international class mentallist. Now that would be a lot more fun.

The Beginning.

Alright. Just started off with this Blog lark so it will take some getting used to. A few of the mates started doing this. One went travelling and banged on about that for a few year and another was venting his spleen about not being able to find work about a year ago. Don't see Enti much these days as he buggered off to live in sweden with a dutch bird called Katja. Or was she swedish? One of them anyway. Still see jason. He's a happy fucking bastard who loves everything in the world. He is like a poster boy for anything fucking festive. A good bloke though. Was a bird i met whilst on the piss in oz (I had a backpack but i ain't no sodding backpacker or traveller) who gave me this idea though. Stacey is her name. Spotted her blog the other week on facebook and it gave me an idea of posting my rants about life on this fucking thing. Now her blog isn't a pit of misery by any means but i intend this to be. Will have bits of laughter, the odd joke, things in life that i find funny like people falling over and general bollocks from everyday life. Friends of mine like wazza will bring you a quote of the day. I'll still be moaning about everything on Facebook and twitter but i thought why not start this shite on here. Anyway, bollocks to this as i'm off to bed.